no, i did not die.

just moved to myspace.

SORRY!!!

www.myspace.com/mingo77

i found this on myspace.

and i absolutely love it.

This is probably the best bulletin I've ever seen because it's so true. If you read this and get to the end and just forget about it, or say it was stupid, you're a complete ass hole and should never be aloud in a restaurant ever again! Knowing from experience, serving can be really hard sometimes. We are serving you, getting every and anything you need...If you suck down your drink in the first 2 minutes of getting it and it doesn't get re-filled right away, it's your dumb fault for drinking it so quickly. Yes, we are there to serve you, but you are NOT the only one we are serving. We have other tables and you just need to chill out! I quit serving because of the stupid arrogant people this world is infested with. If you are cheap, eat at home. If you only have $30 to spend, don't go out and eat $30 worth of food. Remember that tip should always be included in your cost of food, if you are going to spend $30 on food, make sure you at least have $6 for tip.

The next time you're out eating at a restaurant, look at your server. Do you think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no, they are not, but it's what we do, and we do it for the money so please help them out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them accordingly!

There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":
If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hand
2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money.

3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.

4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS:
Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is insulting that you assume we are w/o religion and must save us. Again, like ..3, we cant pay bills w/prayer cards. We'd go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out.

5. TIPPING:
It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. Just look at the tax line and multiply by 2-3, this gives you your minimum tip amount. Remember, our companies pay us minimum wage (minimum wage for servers is $6.75 in CA, $3.13 in FL, $3.09 in IA, $2.13 in OH and TX) And we are taxed on 10 percent of your meal automatically anyway. So if your meal is $100 and you leave $10 and we tip out $4-5 to the busser, bartender, and whoever else then we pay tax on 10 dollars and we make $5. It seems small but it adds up. How many times do you eat out per week and do this?

6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because of your food was prepared wrong or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us.

7. THE FREE STUFF:
If you happen to get anything for free and you did not have a problem with your dining experience, most of the time it is because the server thinks you will realize that they are giving it to you for free. There should be extra tip thanking the server for the free item. They could get in a lot of trouble giving away free stuff. You should give them hazard pay for it.

8. THE LATE ONES:
If you come into the restaurant 10 mins before closing or any time near closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do side work and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24 hour establishments such as Dennys if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.

9. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not Starbucks or a hotel restaurant. If you want to sit for hours, go there or else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.

10. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?". Also most of us are REQUIRED to say certain things during the greeting, so please don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "Can we get some bread?", or "What are the soups?"

11. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restaurant. This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away and not return until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.

12. TAKE-AWAY OR TO-GOS:
Always remember to tip the take-out order servers! They work just as hard as a server, and hardly ever get tips for it! WE DESERVE TO BE TIPPED TOO!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SERVERS READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please repost this so the word can get out, since so many people are uneducated about tips and our lives depend on this - at least for now......

SIGNED, YOUR FELLOW RESTAURANT

current music: "bojangles" by pitbull
current mood: a lil' sad...

so here comes a major update.

miami...
miami was friggin' awesome. we spent the first day trying to live without our suitcases. delta sucks. they lost half of our planes' baggage. idiots. we also tried renting a car where they only told us they had a honda civic or some shit.

and then we got to the hertz place and they had every car imaginable.

so we rented a pontiac vibe. and then laughed as we left the rental car place because we fought the system. just cause we young don't mean you can cheat us out of a good car. bitches.

so we got WAY lost trying to find our hotel, and when we finally found it, we checked in and dustin immeditately realized we were on the 12th floor of a hotel with panoramic windows. thats right, folks, the wall to our room was a FULL-LENGTH WINDOW with nothing solid under it. we could have just fallen through the window. scary.

anyway, we went and explored south beach that night. south beach is AMAZING. wayyyyy crowded and annoying. but amazing nonetheless. and then we went back to the hotel, got our bags, and rested up for the next 5 days of vacation.

monday was spent in miami... south beach and driving around mimai trying to get our bearings. it was kinda icky outside, and we tried the beach, but it was retarded. so eventually we decided to go to orlando and visit dustin's friend zac.

we only planned to go to orlando for a day or so, but it was really nice there, and it was GONNA be nicer than miami, so we ended up spending 3 days there. we hung out a lot with zac and his boy ivan, and then their friend brian from west virginia. we played in the pool and the spa (yay!!). zac lives in this little apartment complex that is GATED. it was sweet as hell. we went to this bar called southern nights -- i ended up getting WASTED and we left 30 minutes later and went to denny's. so my drunk ass is being retarded and loud in denny's. oh well.

the next day we spent in clearwater beach (tampa). it wasn't the best day out, but it was still fun as hell. we ate at ruby tuesdays, and i naturally took advantage of the 2-4-1 drinks and got drunk. the drive home was a fun one, let me tell you. ;) that night we went out to another club called pulse. it blew cleveland clubs out of the water. they had one room that was entirely white, it was awesome!!! i honestly don't remember too much about pulse... i was blacked out pretty much the entire time. i got kicked out and then proceeded to pee outside of a port-a-potty because i was "sure it was locked". it sooooo wasn't, but oh well. i got dustin's hoodie dirty too... sorry bud!!!

thursday we spent around the apartment and the pool. zac was going to jacksonville, so dustin and i drove back to miami. we spent that night trying to find an 18+ club to party at, but to our dismay the only club we could go to was black only. hahahahaha. i think we spent 3 hours calling and driving and trying to find somewhere to go. so we ended up just going back to the hotel and watching "a cinderella story". fun times in the Downtown Radisson room 1220!!

friday was a BEAUTIFUL day, so we went to south beach and drove around for a little bit. we eventually got out and walked to the gay beach. let me just say, we layed there for maybe 1 1/2 hours max and we BOTH got toasted. we looked like friggin' lobsters. it was great, cuz we both got tan from it. and the gay beach... craziness!!! there was a lady with her shirt off. it woulda been cool. but she was like 70 years old. blegh. and dustin and i agreed that older guys can have REALLY nice bods. it was weird. i was really self-conscious the whole time. oh well, i'll never see anyone on that beach again 'cept dustin, and i love dustin.

friday night was spent returning our rental car. we walked to this cuban restaurant down the street from our hotel. it was really good!! dustin got chicken fajitas, and i got hawaiian-style ham. it was deelish. then we decided we wanted to go out again that night, and the only 18+ club we could go to was 30 min away... which was about $75 cab fare one way. so we went BACK to hertz and rented yet another car. lol. this time we got a hyundai sonata, hell yes!! we went to a club called coliseum, and it was really fun. yet again, it blew our clubs in cleveland out of the water. it was hella fun, but we ended up getting drugged or something by this crazy dude... so we left there at like 2:30. our flight left at 6am, and we made the mistake of taking a 30-minute nap. it turned into an hour nap and we missed our flight. so lucky us had to pay $50 extra to re-book for a 7am flight. grrrrrrrr. we eventually made it back to akron, and my damn car had died. i was soooooo pissed. so we got a jump, thank god, and drove home. all in all, fun times in miami!!

current music: "honky tonk badonkadonk" by trace adkins

everything else is going ok, i guess. student teaching wraps up in 3 weeks, and i cannot WAIT. i love it, but its so frustrating to have 5 people telling you what to do. i just want my own classroom. i have a job fair w/ 9 interviews on tuesday, so we'll see if anything comes out of it. shaker told me i'm not getting a job there, which minorly bums me out, but oh well. they just don't have a position, it's not like they hate me... i don't think. hahaha. i have a couple interviews in florida and one in vegas, so we'll see if those pan out.

and yeah. thats pretty much it. i'll update again soon. i hope. hehehe.

current music: "black horse and the cherry tree" by kt tunstall
current mood: stressin'

so, i am back from miami.

it was hella fun.

however, my life for the next two days is being consumed by lesson plans and a HUGE project due tuesday.

once that is over, you best believe i'll update y'all about it.

and for a teaser... all ya need to know is that in florida, water burns your skin at 100 degrees. haha, love ya dustin.

current music: "unbelieveable" by kaci brown
current mood: anxious for next week

just another day in the life of a shaker middle school teacher...

so today one of my students was OUT OF CONTROL. so i sent her in the hall. she asked for a reason, and i said "you are a rude young girl who doesn't listen to her elders, and i don't want you in here anymore today". to which she muttered under her breath (or so she thought), "i fuckin' hate mr. sivert".

so, having a pretty horrible day thus far, i let my "real mike" side come out and i shout "why don't you come tell me to my face?"

it's kinda ironic that i ended up in the principal's office being repremanded, but whatever. i didn't mean it like it came out... i just meant that if she had a concern she should say it to me so we could fix things. yes, i know, the words i actually spoke do NOT give that impression. oops.

i'm off the hook -- i was told by the prinicpal it's a common mistake that new teachers make, especially in a district like shaker. i just have to learn to keep my cool, and it comes with time. and the student? the student is off the hook. i also have to deal with her mom now, who says i am "harrassing and threatening" the girl. pshaaa. like i need to waste my time on ignorant and rude 7th graders. i have 85 students who want to learn, and 15 students who think school is a place to socialize. yeah, i care about all 100... but if you put forth no effort, i have no cards to play.

grrr.

in other news, lots of applications have gone out. thus far, zero job offers.

frustrated? yes. but it's still early. i got some time. phew.

i cannot believe i have, what, 4 weeks left?!? holy cow.

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hmmmmmmm.

oh. i had my kids write articles on the riots in france. if you are unaware (and this is the cliff notes version ;)), they made a law that makes it legal for employers to fire 18-26 year olds if someone older applies.

the responses i got are HILARIOUS.

about 50% don't understand what the big deal is -- they don't want to work and could care less if they'd get fired. more time to be lazy. (and i'm not even kidding... 50% of my kids answered that way)

5% related it to george bush. i didn't quite understand that.

and the other 45% agreed that the law sucks.

not a SINGLE student took the side of the french government. hahahahaha.

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in other news, miami in 9 days. holy cow.

i spilled my mochata today. bum. :(

and you've got it goin' on like donkey kong.